Your thoart's so heavy...feels like a knot that won't stop tieing...
Your eyes give birth to tears...that won't stop falling...
It hurts so you bite your bottom lip...to keep from screaming...
You always moved from home to home...you thought it was over...
But the past comes to repeat itself...and they always choose you...
They love you...they hate you...you are thier teasure...you are thier pain...
And no matter what you do...what you say...it'll all stay the same...
So into the dark corners of your mind you must go...to hide from demons that haunt
You will laugh...you will cry...you will nod your head and smile...but it will always be there...
The guilt...the shame...the false hope...the surrow
You will stand your ground...And become the person you want to become...
And they will jab and pick at everything you are...and belittle you...
Under the rug
Never on the surface
But you feel it...everytime...
Stay true to you...because one day...sadly...they will not be there...
And all you will have is thier memory...and what you fought so hard to uptain...
The person you are becoming is up to you...and you alone...
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I guess we'll never know...
Oh no don't say it
Don't say you once thought of us being together
When I think back now on all those times
Baby, we could of been together
We could of been the ones that made it
The ones everyone talked about
The ones everyone smiled at
Then glared at from behind
Because they knew they couldn't have this
They knew no love could be truer
But sitting here watching you now
All I can do is wonder...
And it hurts inside because I know
Have you given me a chance...
I could have made your whole world shine..
But now baby, no
I guess we'll never know...
Don't say you once thought of us being together
When I think back now on all those times
Baby, we could of been together
We could of been the ones that made it
The ones everyone talked about
The ones everyone smiled at
Then glared at from behind
Because they knew they couldn't have this
They knew no love could be truer
But sitting here watching you now
All I can do is wonder...
And it hurts inside because I know
Have you given me a chance...
I could have made your whole world shine..
But now baby, no
I guess we'll never know...
Thursday, May 7, 2009
-Failure-
What's my name? failure.
Fallen behind, left behind, I put myself there
I had a chance, I let it go, releasing all my fear
All the pressure and all the pain finally got to me
I can't be who you say I should
But still you disagree
You're wasting your time I'm wasting my time
And time is a valuable thing...
Between paper and people
I can't seem to deal
I'm loosing myself
And I can't seem to feel
Crying in my head because
The tears aren't worth it
Nightmares in my bed because
Reality doesn't try to fit
I can't do anything right
I'm not good enough for a glance
I want to get out of this life
If only I had the chance
If I had one
Just one free pass
I'd leave the damage behind
Look forward instead of to the past
Fallen behind, left behind, I put myself there
I had a chance, I let it go, releasing all my fear
All the pressure and all the pain finally got to me
I can't be who you say I should
But still you disagree
You're wasting your time I'm wasting my time
And time is a valuable thing...
Between paper and people
I can't seem to deal
I'm loosing myself
And I can't seem to feel
Crying in my head because
The tears aren't worth it
Nightmares in my bed because
Reality doesn't try to fit
I can't do anything right
I'm not good enough for a glance
I want to get out of this life
If only I had the chance
If I had one
Just one free pass
I'd leave the damage behind
Look forward instead of to the past
Behind
I can't keep up
I'm running...running...
But it's not enough
My mind isn't quick enough
My body can not react
I'm trying...trying...
But I'll never be on track
I'm lost in my work
I'm lost in at home
I'm lost at school
And worst of all
I'm lost in my passion
In what makes me; me
In the things I love to do that most
I've fallen behind
Trapped forever in a maze of college work and role play drawings
I'm running...running...
But it's not enough
My mind isn't quick enough
My body can not react
I'm trying...trying...
But I'll never be on track
I'm lost in my work
I'm lost in at home
I'm lost at school
And worst of all
I'm lost in my passion
In what makes me; me
In the things I love to do that most
I've fallen behind
Trapped forever in a maze of college work and role play drawings
Not what I thought it'd be...
Everyone is dressed
In silk and in leather
They whisper jokes in each others ears
As the limo comes around the corner
I stand there watching with my metro card in hand
My 20 dollar dress sinking
In a puddle where I stand
Happy couples cling so close
I think back of his face
And of the time when we first met
The same school, the same place
I will walk inside a crowded room
Holding the wrong hand...
And as the music starts...
I can slowly feel myself fall apart
It wasn't suppose to be this way
But then again who thought it would
I missed my chance a thousand times
I'd take it back if I could...
In silk and in leather
They whisper jokes in each others ears
As the limo comes around the corner
I stand there watching with my metro card in hand
My 20 dollar dress sinking
In a puddle where I stand
Happy couples cling so close
I think back of his face
And of the time when we first met
The same school, the same place
I will walk inside a crowded room
Holding the wrong hand...
And as the music starts...
I can slowly feel myself fall apart
It wasn't suppose to be this way
But then again who thought it would
I missed my chance a thousand times
I'd take it back if I could...
Not as good~
What was I thinking?
When I'm not as good.
When you don't notice me...
And everyone notices you...
When all the times I think back
Of when I was good
Those smiles I planted on people's faces
Just wasn't as good
As the smiles you create
The lives that you reshape
And sometimes I think
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this is a sign from the heavens
That I just can't win...
In everything I do
I'm just not that good
When I'm not as good.
When you don't notice me...
And everyone notices you...
When all the times I think back
Of when I was good
Those smiles I planted on people's faces
Just wasn't as good
As the smiles you create
The lives that you reshape
And sometimes I think
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this is a sign from the heavens
That I just can't win...
In everything I do
I'm just not that good
Introduction~
*****
Normally, the main character tells a story. And nine times out of ten the main character happens to be the leader. But I am neither the main character nor the leader. My name is Koneko Shizune. The main character is...you guessed it; Nami. The leader just so happens to be Yakuza. Thing is neither of them are telling this story; I am. Every story has a point of view and this story will be from mine. But every story is also just a piece of a very large and similar story we all share. I met a lot of amazing people. People that changed my life. This story isn’t just my story but is theirs. By telling my story I must tell you theirs. I must tell you ours. After our first meeting I followed them back to Nami’s village. It was called Kotaki. I never was there before. I trailed behind because I was new. But Nami and her strange cat stayed by me. From the start Yakuza and I didn’t seem to get along. It was funny too because I thought Chitose and I wouldn’t get along and Yakuza and I would. It was the exact opposite. I noticed that happened to me a lot. Kuzi was very shy when we were all fighting but outside of battle he was very cheerful like Nami. He was tan unlike the others, which was unique. When we got to the shrine we were told the story of the prophecy. And how the last elemental priestess must travel across the land and fight the spirits of all the elemental priestess before her. Nami would have to do this in order to gain enough power to defeat the Warlord. Or…in other words…her brother. Apparently, Nami’s brother went crazy and killed everyone in their village. No one knows what happened but the story goes that since Nami and her brother are the last of their kind they spilt the last of their people’s power. If one kills the other then the one remaining will gain full control of all of their people’s power. The Warlord wishes to flood the entire planet with this power. I still don’t understand why he waited till now to try and kill Nami but I guess we never will really know.
Chapter One: Forest Fire
Normally, the main character tells a story. And nine times out of ten the main character happens to be the leader. But I am neither the main character nor the leader. My name is Koneko Shizune. The main character is...you guessed it; Nami. The leader just so happens to be Yakuza. Thing is neither of them are telling this story; I am. Every story has a point of view and this story will be from mine. But every story is also just a piece of a very large and similar story we all share. I met a lot of amazing people. People that changed my life. This story isn’t just my story but is theirs. By telling my story I must tell you theirs. I must tell you ours. After our first meeting I followed them back to Nami’s village. It was called Kotaki. I never was there before. I trailed behind because I was new. But Nami and her strange cat stayed by me. From the start Yakuza and I didn’t seem to get along. It was funny too because I thought Chitose and I wouldn’t get along and Yakuza and I would. It was the exact opposite. I noticed that happened to me a lot. Kuzi was very shy when we were all fighting but outside of battle he was very cheerful like Nami. He was tan unlike the others, which was unique. When we got to the shrine we were told the story of the prophecy. And how the last elemental priestess must travel across the land and fight the spirits of all the elemental priestess before her. Nami would have to do this in order to gain enough power to defeat the Warlord. Or…in other words…her brother. Apparently, Nami’s brother went crazy and killed everyone in their village. No one knows what happened but the story goes that since Nami and her brother are the last of their kind they spilt the last of their people’s power. If one kills the other then the one remaining will gain full control of all of their people’s power. The Warlord wishes to flood the entire planet with this power. I still don’t understand why he waited till now to try and kill Nami but I guess we never will really know.
Chapter One: Forest Fire
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