YoU

Your thoart's so heavy...feels like a knot that won't stop tieing...
Your eyes give birth to tears...that won't stop falling...
It hurts so you bite your bottom lip...to keep from screaming...
You always moved from home to home...you thought it was over...
But the past comes to repeat itself...and they always choose you...
They love you...they hate you...you are thier teasure...you are thier pain...
And no matter what you do...what you say...it'll all stay the same...
So into the dark corners of your mind you must go...to hide from demons that haunt
You will laugh...you will cry...you will nod your head and smile...but it will always be there...
The guilt...the shame...the false hope...the surrow
You will stand your ground...And become the person you want to become...
And they will jab and pick at everything you are...and belittle you...

Under the rug
Never on the surface

But you feel it...everytime...
Stay true to you...because one day...sadly...they will not be there...
And all you will have is thier memory...and what you fought so hard to uptain...
The person you are becoming is up to you...and you alone...

I guess we'll never know...

Oh no don't say it
Don't say you once thought of us being together
When I think back now on all those times
Baby, we could of been together
We could of been the ones that made it
The ones everyone talked about
The ones everyone smiled at
Then glared at from behind
Because they knew they couldn't have this
They knew no love could be truer
But sitting here watching you now
All I can do is wonder...
And it hurts inside because I know
Have you given me a chance...
I could have made your whole world shine..
But now baby, no
I guess we'll never know...

-Failure-

What's my name? failure.
Fallen behind, left behind, I put myself there
I had a chance, I let it go, releasing all my fear
All the pressure and all the pain finally got to me
I can't be who you say I should
But still you disagree
You're wasting your time I'm wasting my time
And time is a valuable thing...
Between paper and people
I can't seem to deal
I'm loosing myself
And I can't seem to feel
Crying in my head because
The tears aren't worth it
Nightmares in my bed because
Reality doesn't try to fit
I can't do anything right
I'm not good enough for a glance
I want to get out of this life
If only I had the chance
If I had one
Just one free pass
I'd leave the damage behind
Look forward instead of to the past

Behind

I can't keep up
I'm running...running...
But it's not enough
My mind isn't quick enough
My body can not react
I'm trying...trying...
But I'll never be on track
I'm lost in my work
I'm lost in at home
I'm lost at school

And worst of all
I'm lost in my passion
In what makes me; me
In the things I love to do that most
I've fallen behind
Trapped forever in a maze of college work and role play drawings

Not what I thought it'd be...

Everyone is dressed
In silk and in leather
They whisper jokes in each others ears
As the limo comes around the corner
I stand there watching with my metro card in hand
My 20 dollar dress sinking
In a puddle where I stand
Happy couples cling so close
I think back of his face
And of the time when we first met
The same school, the same place
I will walk inside a crowded room
Holding the wrong hand...
And as the music starts...
I can slowly feel myself fall apart
It wasn't suppose to be this way
But then again who thought it would
I missed my chance a thousand times
I'd take it back if I could...

Not as good~

What was I thinking?
When I'm not as good.
When you don't notice me...
And everyone notices you...
When all the times I think back
Of when I was good
Those smiles I planted on people's faces
Just wasn't as good
As the smiles you create
The lives that you reshape
And sometimes I think
Maybe I should just give in
Maybe this is a sign from the heavens
That I just can't win...
In everything I do
I'm just not that good

Introduction~

*****

Normally, the main character tells a story. And nine times out of ten the main character happens to be the leader. But I am neither the main character nor the leader. My name is Koneko Shizune. The main character is...you guessed it; Nami. The leader just so happens to be Yakuza. Thing is neither of them are telling this story; I am. Every story has a point of view and this story will be from mine. But every story is also just a piece of a very large and similar story we all share. I met a lot of amazing people. People that changed my life. This story isn’t just my story but is theirs. By telling my story I must tell you theirs. I must tell you ours. After our first meeting I followed them back to Nami’s village. It was called Kotaki. I never was there before. I trailed behind because I was new. But Nami and her strange cat stayed by me. From the start Yakuza and I didn’t seem to get along. It was funny too because I thought Chitose and I wouldn’t get along and Yakuza and I would. It was the exact opposite. I noticed that happened to me a lot. Kuzi was very shy when we were all fighting but outside of battle he was very cheerful like Nami. He was tan unlike the others, which was unique. When we got to the shrine we were told the story of the prophecy. And how the last elemental priestess must travel across the land and fight the spirits of all the elemental priestess before her. Nami would have to do this in order to gain enough power to defeat the Warlord. Or…in other words…her brother. Apparently, Nami’s brother went crazy and killed everyone in their village. No one knows what happened but the story goes that since Nami and her brother are the last of their kind they spilt the last of their people’s power. If one kills the other then the one remaining will gain full control of all of their people’s power. The Warlord wishes to flood the entire planet with this power. I still don’t understand why he waited till now to try and kill Nami but I guess we never will really know.


Chapter One: Forest Fire

Prologue; page seven

Chitose groaned from under him. Yakuza looked down at her. His eyes dazed off a bit. She opened her eyes and saw his blurry figure come to. Her cheeks burned up as she yelped. Yakuza fell off to the side at the loud high pitch sound she made. Both Nami and Kuzi shook their heads. “I will avenge her death...by killing someone close to him...” she raised her dagger. “N-no!” Kuzi shouted. Yakuza and Chitose sat up from Kuzi’s loud shout but it was too late. Nami smiled softly. This caused the girl to flinch. “If you kill me...you’ll be doing my brother a favor.” The girl’s eyes widened. What is this? She couldn’t bring herself to pull the blade down, “What are you talking about...” “My brother wants me dead. That’s why these people are protecting me. Once he kills me he’ll get my powers.” Nami replied with cheerful eyes as if explaining how sweet a fruit tasted. “I see...” Everyone watched as the girl lowered her dagger. She put it behind her letting it be held by large bow. She turned to Nami and bent down to her. Kuzi and the others blinked as the girl took Nami’s hand. Nami blinked. “Then I shall protect you....as well.” Yakuza stood up helping a bewildered Chitose to her feet. Kuzi smiled warmly, I knew she wan’t evil... “Really? My name is Nami!” The girl smiled. It was the first time she seemed normal, “And mine is Koneko.” Chitose walked over to her as she stood up, “So...Koneko was it?” “Yeah.” “Welcome to the team.” Kuzi nodded, “Yeah.” Yakuza just scoffed. Nami smiled looking at her two new friends.

Prologue; page six

“I beg your pardon?” Yakuza asked half mocking half serious. Chitose didn’t wait any longer. She ran towards the girl passing Yakuza. Yakuza glanced at her as she passed him. Before reaching the girl she punched the ground. Once her fist hit the soft earth the ground under them cracked. The crack traveled quickly under the girl until the ground under her broke. The girl closed her eyes as she flipped up into the air. She landed behind the girl who spun around to punch. The girl moved slightly side-to-side dodging Chitose. Once Kuzi noticed the girl get ready to hit back he took out his katana. His hands shook a bit as he ran towards the girl. The girl’s eyes glimpsed at him as she jumped over his attack. Kuzi knew what was about to happen but it was happening too fast for him to stop it. He closed his eyes in fear of watching himself hurt Chitose. When he opened his eyes Chitose’s eyes were wide. But next to her was Yakuza who blocked Kuzi’s katana blade with his heavy sword. The girl smirked, now she was the one who was amused. Yakuza glared at what Kuzi thought was him but in actuality it was the girl behind him. Yakuza pulled away and stepped to the side of Kuzi. He blocked again as the girl tried attacking with her dagger. She smirked again playfully flipping off Yakuza’s blade. In the air she chanted something in a strange language as bits of fire fell off her large bow. The fire soon turned into many fire pixies. The fire pixies shoot out at them. Yakuza readied his weapon. Suddenly water shot out from behind them and poured over the flaming fairies. Yakuza slowly turned around to see the girl he was suppose to protect standing up now. So it is true. She is an elemental priestess...the last one. Nami looked at the girl as her cat jumped on her shoulders. The girl cracked her neck and got ready. Chitose and Kuzi both stared at Nami. They never saw Nami use her powers before. The water from the lake was suddenly dancing around Nami’s young body. It seemed so alive more alive then anything else. “Why are you hurting my friends?” That’s when Nami noticed Yakuza. She blushed at the sight of him. He was drop dead gorgeous. “Lady Nami—” Chitose began to whisper. “So...you’re the Warlord’s little sister...” the girl paused walking over to her. “Don’t you touch her!” Chitose screamed running towards her. The girl’s eyes flashed red. Yakuza noticed this and ran over to Chitose grabbing her as a red barrier emerged from the girl’s body. Thud. Yakuza fell on top of Chitose. Kuzi blinked at the sight of the two of them. The girl stopped in front of Nami, “Your brother...” her eyes narrowed, “Killed my sensei.” Nami looked at the girl. Kuzi looked away; knowing all too well how many people the warlord had killed.

Prologue; page five

nine. She was walking around the forest with a monk. They were watering the flowers so it must have been around springtime. Chitose noticed something small wash ashore. When she ran over she couldn’t believe what she had seen. It was a baby. The water had given birth to a beautiful girl who Chitose named; Nami. The monk knew the moment he laid eyes on her what she was. An elemental priestess. The water priestess. And she was the last of her kind. The prophecy was finally coming true. Of course at that time Chitose had no idea of any prophecy or elemental priestess’, all she saw was a tiny baby she could have as a sister. In the distance Nami could be seen lying on the beach shore. The small black cat was meowing at her as if asking her to get up. Standing in front of Nami’s limb body was a dark shapely figure. She was grown, late teens maybe early twenties. Yakuza and the others stopped running once the girl came into sight. Yakuza studied the girl quickly. She was definitely a nin. She also wasn’t a noob and had a few weapons on her. Chitose was the only one who glared at the girl as Kuzi just stood there. Yakuza reached up slowly gripping down on the handle of the heavy sword that rested on his back. He threw his hand down aiming the large sword at the girl. When she turned to face them there was a white cat mask on her face. This caused them to flinch a bit. Yakuza, however, didn’t move a muscle. His eyes focused on the girl. Narrowing them he left a sharp gust of wind as the girl dashed forward. Chitose and Kuzi backed up, S-she’s so fast...! Yakuza seemed amused. He slashed down as the girl’s blurry figure reappeared. She was ducked down under the large blade blocking it with her not so large dagger. Yakuza smirked at the girl’s strength. Rotating her body around she left her blade behind as Yakuza’s grip fell forward and she spin kicked him back. Yakuza stumbled back. Shaking it off he aimed his sword once more. “Hehe...” The girl’s chuckled echoed in their ears. With the mask on her face it was hard to tell who she was looking at. So it felt like she was looking at each of them individually but at the same time. Kuzi wondered if that was the purpose of the mask. Not only to hide the identity of the girl but to give off a sense of manipulation. They watched as the girl’s smooth hand reached her mask. She pulled it off slowly revealing her beautiful face. Her silver eyes caught Yakuza’s attention. Kuzi winced from the girl’s beauty. How could something so beautiful be so evil? Kuzi shook his head. She can’t be evil...Chitose looked at the boys then at the girl. She took off her white gloves and put on her black ones. Kuzi snapped out of his train of thought and turned to her. He knew what that meant. “I will kill this girl...” Her words hit the three of them like a knife...or a dagger.

Prologue; page four

“Come, meet Lady Nami first.” “Whatever...” The monk led Yakuza to Nami’s room. Chitose walked behind them keeping a close eye on Yakuza. She didn’t trust him. She watched over Lady Nami all this time. She protected her and raised her. She cared about Lady Nami and Yakuza seemed to care less. This was probably just another job for him. Looking at him Chitose could swear she’d seen him somewhere before. Her eyes widen as it suddenly hit her. A Bounty Hunter...Her eye lids lower, Why would they ask a Bounty Hunter to protect Lady Nami...Her thoughts swirled in her mind as they walked up the stairs to Lady Nami’s room. She didn’t even notice Kuzi pass her in a hurry. “What is this? Am I going to be her baby sitter too?” Snapping out of her thoughts Chitose ran over to Lady Nami’s room. Empty. Shit. Yakuza turned to the guards, “And where were you guys when she ran off?” Among the guards was Akamuro Kuzi. He was the only tan person in the village. He wore the proper guard uniform but unlike the other guards he held a katana at his hip. His hair was dark brown and covered most of his face. His eyes were indigo blue and always seemed dazing off. Yakuza turned to Kuzi and asked again. Kuzi didn’t look interested at all and didn’t answer Yakuza either. Then Chitose asked and Kuzi replied. “We just heard the news from a monk. We sent most of the guards to go look for her.” “You answer to her eh...” mumbled an annoyed Yakuza. “Alright,” Chitose seemed determined, “You remaining monks search the houses in the villages, the guards take the forest—” “Where did you find her...” “Excuse me?” Yakuza took out the clippy and stuck it in his mouth, “She’s an elemental priestess correct? You had to of found her somewhere...” “She was sent by the gods...she is the last elemental priestess to exse— ” the monk began but Yakuza only cut right in again. “Alright, so where did the gods send her for you to find her.” “The lake...” Kuzi turned to Chitose who only repeated herself before running out of the shrine. The old monk tried to stop her but she was already gone. Yakuza smirked as he lit his clippy and chased after her. Kuzi wasn’t far behind Yakuza at this point. The three of them ran quickly through the forest and towards the lake. Chitose remembered the first time she saw Lady Nami. She was around eight or

Prologue; page three

young lady rushed to the monks side. Yakuza glanced at her for a moment then continued walking. She was around nineteen. Her light lavender hair was up in two straight pigtails. Her royal blue eyes were soft as she asked if the monk was okay. She was wearing a dark lavender, off the shoulders top with tight black long shorts. Yakuza noticed she wore white fighter gloves with matching fighter boots. She stood from the monk and turned to him. Her face puffed up. Yakuza rolled his eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!?” She was lovely until she opened her mouth. Yakuza closed his eyes and opened them looking at her, “You done?” She was pissed now. He smiled as if he was enjoying it. “This is a holy place!’ she shouted as she smacked the cigarette out of his hand. “Well...” he paused as he got out another cigarette and lit it, “I’m not religious.” “And what’s that got to do with anything!?” He inhaled the sweet smoke and smirked looking at the loud girl, “So I can smoke in here all I want.” She rolled up her sleeves, “That’s it—!” “Ma am’ Chitose.” An older monk spoke up walking towards them. Yakuza raised his eyebrow. The old monk was more then old he was ancient. Yakuza was surprised the man could still walk. He turned to Chitose and put a hand on her shoulder. She eased up quickly and stepped away from Yakuza. He put out his cigarette on the wall, which drove Chitose mad. He smiled again. She just wanted to wipe his stupid smile off his stupid face. The man took off his hood. His eyes were closed the entire time. “Are you the one who sent me the letter of protection?” The girl looked puzzled at this point. “I did.” “So where is the girl?” Chitose blinked, “You mean Lady Nami?” Yakuza shrugged then nodded. “But...” Chitose turned to the elderly monk, “I’m Lady Nami’s body guard.” The monk patted her head, “I know that, Chitose. But things are more complex then your young mind knows. We need a lot more protection if Nami’s going to defeat the Warlord.” Yakuza folded his arms over his chest, “Defeat the Warlord...? I said I’d protect her not go after the most powerful man who just so happens to rule over us.” Chitose rolled her eyes at Yakuza’s ignorance, “The Warlord is Lady Nami’s older brother you fool.” He had to admit that did catch him off-guard, “So?”

Prologue page two

“Now why would any monk send a letter of protection to a Bounty Hunter...” Yakuza shook his head…

Crumbing up the paper; he lit his cigarette. Once he inhaled the rain began to fall down. His faded blue eyes glanced at the sky. Great time to light a cigarette...He shook his head and threw the useless nicotine into a puddle. His ink black boots stepped directly where the cigarette had landed as he walked towards the old shrine. He put his hands in his pockets. His snow white hair didn’t seem to get any darker once wet as most hair did. He wore all black at all times. As if mourning his own life. The only color on this man was the necklace he wore around his neck. It was silver. And it was always holding the ashes of his dead sister. Yakuza was once a bodyguard and wondered if the monks knew. After his sister’s death he stopped protecting people. Now at the age of twenty-one Yakuza was a well known Bounty Hunter. With a heavy sword on his back, a katana at his side, and two handguns in each boot...Yakuza was a deadly opponent.

Moments before Yakuza arrived, a small black cat circled around a seemly empty room. Pop! Nami suddenly appeared out of nowhere and glomped the tiny cat. His name was Shiro, which was an odd name for an all black cat. He was her pet and Nami loved him. From outside the monks could hear the racket coming from Nami’s bedroom. The youngest monk was sent to see if the young priestess was all right. But when he opened the door no one was there. A slight breeze came passed the youngest monk as it became clear the window was wide open. Another monk stormed in and shook his head in frustration. “Not again...” Nami was known for running away when it was least convenient. Her med-length light aura hair was up in a tiny ponytail. It was held up with a large blue bow. Her outfit was a skintight blue body suit that was held by a very large darker blue bow. Her feet were bare with toeless blue socks and matching fingerless blue gloves on her hands. Her little legs ran as fast as they could as she held Shiro in her arms. She smiled to herself before letting out a strange laugh. “The great Tsunami will not be silenced!”
Yakuza opened the doors to the shrine. He walked in as if he owned the place. The monk at the front door tried to stop him from going any further but Yakuza walked right passed him as if he wasn’t there. Sensing something was wrong, a

The Priestess and the Chi; Prologue

“The Priestess and the Chi” by Kitty ((Sonya M.))



Prologue

Her skin felt smooth as she dragged her black net stockings across her long legs. She glanced into the mirror before putting on her blush pink ninja boots. Her eyes then narrowed. How long has it been since her silver blank eyes came across her sensei’s deep red ones? How long has it been since she heard the news that the woman she once knew was murdered. And now an honorable kunochi such as herself must run away and never return. Why? Simply put, because the murder was pin pointed on her. Did she do it? Of course not. However, that wasn’t for young Koneko to decide. She had just turned seventeen last year. Soon she’d become a woman. She must let go of these pathetic schoolgirl ways. She must become more then a shinobi if she was going to survive…if she was going to avenge her sensei’s death. Staring deep into the mirror, eyes glazed over, she thought of the name of the man who killed her sensei... “Mizuko...” Koneko pulled her long bubble gum pink hair up in a pony tail ((using the very ribbon her father gave to her)) and turned to walk out of her hideaway. She still wore her clan’s outfit. It was a female’s ninja get up; a short white ninja yakata with a gigantic blush pink bow holding it all together that clung to her busty figure. Koneko blew a loose piece of her hair away from her face. Just then, the door exploded open. Her attention now at the smoke filling the room from the blast. A smirk arose from Koneko’s interested face. They’re here she thought…again…Cracking her neck she prepared herself for another deadly fight.
A few miles south Yukan Yakuza wondered aimlessly. The village he was in was known as, Kotaki and he was looking for the Kotaki Shrine. In it was suppose to be a child named Nami. This so-called Nami, happened to be the girl Yakuza was suppose to be protecting. As of this moment the reasons of her protection were unknown to him. He looked at the paper sent to him a second time.

What an [it-de-it]

...OH...MY...GOD...what an idiot!
And I don't mean one plus one equals three
Idiot
I mean Hey ma what's your name
Idiot
I've only been in your class all year
Idiot
Why can't you leave me alone
Idiot
All up in my face
Idiot
The kind that won't go home
Idiot
The kind you got at home
Idiot
Like how do we breathe the same air
Idiot
Always on the train
Idiot
Makes a mess where ever they go
Idiot
Can't remember you hate their guts
Idiot
Makes ya wanna shot yourself
Idiot
The type who can't take a hint
Idiot
IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT
A big hint
Idiot...

~Alice in Nightmare Land~

Oh Alice,

Please do stray.

Because if you don't leave soon

you'll be dead soon I'm afraid.

Alice please listen to me and listen to me well.

You think this place is wonderful Alice, but this place is hell.

Don't you know?

Chasing rabbits is for the young...

and Alice you had your fun.

Time to see life as it is.

Your fantasy world won't help you, help you from growing up.

Oh Alice,

Please don't you fade.

Though you're wonderland is gone,

honey it'll be back again some day.

Alice life will be well you'll see.

But life will just pass you by if you keep living in your dreams.

Don't you know?

There's no such thing as purple fur...

and cats can't talk in a place like this.

Time to see life as it is.

Your fantasy world won't help you, help you from growing up.

Oh Alice,

Please look away.

Life has treated me bad but for you there's this I'll say.

Don't ever loose hope Alice, as I once did.

Stay true to your fantasies only if they stay true to you.

And maybe one day...

you can take me to it too.

Don't you know?...

Don't you know?

You're late and Alice it is an important date...

to see life as it is.

Times have change and you have grown.

So your fantasy world can be all your own.

And, chasing rabbits is for the young...

and Alice you had your fun.

Time to see life as it is.

Your fantasy world won't help you,

And There's no such thing as purple fur...

and cats can't talk in a place like this.

Time to see life as it is.

Your fantasy world won't help you...

but now you have grown up

-Just oNe of those days-

~It's just been one of those days. You know? When everything goes wrong. When you get out of bed late with a head ache. And guess what? You also woke up late. You rush to get out of the house but keep on forgetting things. Only to wait...twenty minutes...for your ride. Guess what, yeah he's late. You walk outside and the first thing you do is bust your ass on a street of ice in front of that car that looks oh so nice. Because he has money that guess what you don't. And it pissed you off more today because well, today just isn't your day. A day when dropping a pencil pisses you off. And the classroom just echos...echos nonsense and words. It's just one of those days where you wished you never woke up. A day where robbers breaking in at night and knocking you into a coma sounded nice. A day where you could, just for one day, become the devil and make suicidal legal...because hey if you're that depressed then I'll give you the push. And maybe, it'll make me feel good. And you can call me crazy...just not today. Cause, though it may be true...you don't wanna push me the wrong way. I'm not a horrible person...it's just one of those fucking days...~

~Why I RP~

* To get away from it all
* To enhance my imagination
* Because I'm bored
* Because rp is better than rl (xD)
* Because when you can't control your life at least you can control theirs

* It's a good way to relieve stress
* Helps you think out side the box
* You have more hope or less hope afterwards
* Helps you understand things you can't explain
* Your charrie can't betray you unless you make them (xD)
* You get to LOL
* Scream
* And cry
* You decide when it ends
* You're in control
* Cliff hangers keep you begging for more
* Plot twists get you wtf-ing
* Good way to stay up all night
* Makes you feel like a loser and proud!

That I am...:3

Twins; Envy&Pity

My lip moves to the left in jealousy
She may have that title but...
Chick can never be me
Sure your name's in her status
And maybe you met her through your friend
But you and me got history
And that you can't pretend
It happens all the time in movies
In TV shows and in books
The main character loves her best friend
But her best friend never looks
And maybe at the end they finally get together
But that's why they call it a movie
For us there is no happily ever after
That's alright because one day
One day you'll see
Though she has your heart
You'll wish you gave it to me...

Dear Obama,

People crowding in the streets
From all over they come to hear your word
I may not have been on that block
Or stood by those steps
But I was there.
I was there when the thought first came about
I was there when people around were full of doubt
I was there when suddenly a glimpse of hope was born
I was there when the people of the world didn't feel so scorn
It's been a long journey
And much more ahead
Though I can't say I shook your hand
Or cheered for you in those streets
I was there, and I'm glad I was a witness

~That {fateful} night~

New culture and new land, sometimes it's hard to understand
But if we think back we wouldn't change a thing
On that fateful night...
We kept messing up but we still kept trying~

Oh, hoho,

We'll go the distance
We'll make it passed the horizon
And save mankind's existence
With each step that we take
And every evil we remake
We'll never forget and always remember
That fateful night

Mmhmm...sometimes it's hard, but with friends like us who knows...
we might just save the world
Always staying strong No matter what happens we have to move along

And

We'll go the distance
We'll make it passed the horizon
And save mankind's existence
With each step that we take
And every evil we remake
We'll never forget and always remember
That fateful night

~Never let go of your dreams the future is cruel but not what it seems. Miles might come between us, time and everything in between...But without you...without you...there is no me~

Together...

We'll go the distance
We'll make it passed the horizon
And save mankind's existence
With each step that we take
And every evil we remake
We'll never forget and always remember
...That...fateful...night---

~Remember~

Don't forget me I beg
My knees bloody on the ground
I try my hardest, my hardest
But my hardest is yet to be found
Do you recognize that face?
Can you see tears through the rain I put myself in?
I need to get out of this place.
But please remember me...
I am dirty and cold...hurt and forsaken
I am lost and sold...forgotten and mistaken
My existence left to the dark
The back of the class I stay
Even if you see me smile the light she will fade
I will hug you, love you, be your friend
But still you will not see
What's become of me
And maybe one day when you look in the mirror
Though I am not dead my spirit will still haunt
Left in the dark
Now you remember...

~Without Reason~

Without reason I ask you to follow me and you listen

And whenever I'm alone in the dark you glisten

And sometimes when I forget who I am

You're still there again and again

So tell me friend,...why?

No matter what the scenario

You stay by my side...

A thousand steps could be taken

A million lives can be slain

But If I ask you to follow

You'll never look away

Without you I'm less than what I claim

Without you I may go insane...

Without you, my friend,

nothing makes sense

and everything is plain...

A {mutt} till I die

The Puerto Rican in me died when mi abuleo got shot
now it hard for me to say "hola"
And living with my mom was too much of a reality for me
so I had to go live with mi abuela
Sometimes I wonder if I should just go back to the projects because everywhere else
I just feel like a reject
If I'm not in school I'm at home isolated I just don't wanna look out my window
cause it makes me feel constipated...
Like I'm trapped in a mixture of cultures and I don't know which one should be let out.
Hearing names like spic and cracker.
There isn't a moment in my life when I feel like either.
Because who you are at heart may not be who you are at home.
And home may not be home but a house.
And you're waiting to move. I love you all but see you soon.
I gotta be myself.
I gotta get out of this doubt.
At heart I am mutt because no one can label me
I don't give them that control
And it pisses them off because the don't got a hold

See, I'm tired of living a lie...so like it or not
I'm a mutt till I die

Late night wishes

Sometimes at night I wonder why even devils are able to fly...
Why, twisted souls lurk the shadows of the night and
only the broken hearted are able to say everything will be alright.
How the color of blood is no longer a crisom red but the brightest green.
Green like the tallest tree or the most corrupt dollar.
Because every step I take on this world brings me closer and closer to a martyr.
Why bother?
When God's name always becomes a war.
And the dreams a little girl sleeps on...become; numb.
When asking for change is like asking for the death penalty.
And you think to yourself maybe it's up to me.
Up to me to take the stand and fight.
Up to me to make the darkness light...and...
change the world as we see it.
Because if you can't take that step you can dream it.
And if you dream one day you could go into a coma.
Never having to wake might change the world over....At least in your mind...
Time can fly but that would be a waste.
Like helping the devil (Old testament) hold open hell's gates.
Wait...take a step back. Retrack.
Maybe devils can't fly.
Maybe we're the one's that give them wings.
Fill our lives with things.
Things the devil himself made with bliss.
Saying; "Oh here you go pal, just don't tell God about this."
And with a wink you take it.
And maybe you make it...but one day you realize at night.
That yours wishes...they just died.

-The color of {hope} is green-

Green, green grasses surrounded by the tallest crystals of our world

Man kind made beauty scorn between its own guilt

What have you done? The trees whisper...

Im sorry...I whisper back

But can I say such words when it is I that dropped that plasticwaste

On mother nature's bosom...

Why are my eyes allowed to see such beauty

and my hands able to cause such disgrace?

Warm sun lighting up my window

Cold snow against the glass...

Red leaves fall in front... as flowers bloom beside

But the grass around isn't green

The soil beneath is not brown

The only color seen is a fading glimpse of hope

only we can make shine

-skulls-

  Skulls, skulls in my closest

  Dead bodies gone to waste...

  Left alone in the dark

  You'll lose yourself in that mask...

  Change your ways now

  After you bury those skulls...

  No one can know

  Because no one will understand...

  Skulls, skulls in my closest

  Dead bodies now where they should be...

  In the darkest of the night

  The dirt never looked so red...

  

   

Forget you~

      I know you care less

      So why should I care more?

      It's not the same...

      Because I'm not really in that picture

      Because you're in that doorway

      But you are not my friend

      Not anymore

      Because looking at you shows no connection

      Funny thing is you have no idea

      You realize nothing

      And why should you?

      This is not to a lover of the heart

      But to a lover of the bond

      A bond that bends

      A bond that turns

     But a bond that can never be broken

     I got your back whether or not you really have mine

    Words are just words

    And actions can just be played...

    I look for feeling

    And feeling isn't seen in one way

    So there's no where for you to hide

    Your eyes may not shine

    Your smile may crack

    But you will always remember

    And that's what pisses you off the most

    So you keep me lingering on to this bond

    Because you {need} to feel better about yourself

    And who better than me?

    Huh?...who better than me?